Within any relationship there is a dynamic that we must examine to see if we have built a foundation that is either based on illusions or the denying of oneself.
As we travel into the infinite mind and the corridors unravel, we see all players, all sub-personalities, and all identities. Many are associated with the webs of co-dependency that make it all about ‘me’, therefore, we are not seeing the omnipotent self.
In some cases, one or both partners, do not choose the relationship. When one does not commit 100%, it drives the emotions through the rocky road of insecurity. This results in some form of control, because fear is operating on a level not yet seen. How do we unravel the turmoil of the mind, in order to discover where the inorganic energy is being affected by the fear virus?
Let’s use an example where one partner is consistently choosing work, addiction, friends, or even sex with others over his partner. However, perhaps he dashes in for a quick fix of emotional care, maybe a little sex, and is off again into his fanatical world of outside pleasure, thus making it about the “me” and “my” needs … resulting in separation, agendas, or conquer and divide energy. Meanwhile, his partner is left in the web of confusion. Wondering why something so spectacular has been polluted with forces outside of themselves. (Note in this example I used the masculine energy, yet it works both ways.)
Our Spirit is constantly showing us the way out of the corridor to grow our wings and fly. One must ask themselves, why would the partner I am with, not choose me? What am I not giving myself? What is my partner showing me? What belief am I identifying with? Am I comparing? What is it about me that is not enough? Is jealousy involved? Whatever identity I am wearing is it causing duality within myself? Is there a blind spot of negative energy running the show? That spins into crazy resentment, blocking precious heart energy. At the same time, is it choking my life force with more blindness? All to fulfill an outside need that only I can fill.
As a society we have been heavily conditioned with the hero’s journey movies to be the chosen one. We feel a sense of relief, knowing in the end that the hero survives and helps those around him. With this type of conditioning, we choose the outside forces to make us whole; we fall for the fantasy, and identify with the characters in the movie. This produces a misleading heroic journey, living a life filled with masks, hoping to find the maiden to save. We go through life with an upside down map – not knowing which way is north or south. Our confused perception wonders why our fanatical world hasn’t come alive. We deny ourselves, with a sense of abandonment or self-rejection, repressing even more emotions, resulting in a system full of sludge. At this point our life becomes murky and falls apart; we are then caught in a downward spiral. Unfortunately, shame and guilt attach to the false identity, as a means to shield our selves from the painful reality of delusion. We then punish the person we love, because they did not meet our self-absorbed game called the hero’s journey. Fortunately, energy can be transformed as long as we’re willing to look deep within and face those parts we have denied.
The first place to start is by becoming emotionally available to our self. This will dissolve the heavy unconscious imprints that are keeping us bound in pain and suffering. We’re able to find deep compassion knowing that we were subjugated as children. We were wide open, allowing the conditioning to start at a very early age.
Removing the conditioning takes courage, to find and examine the energetic structure of the patterns in the mind, requires consistence focused awareness. When we have a very strong will to heal, sometimes we unconsciously set up a stage to expose the buried land minds to find the gold inside. That’s exactly what my husband Rick and I did. We have what some people might term an ‘open’ marriage. But it’s not. Nor is it polyamory, its a supportive creative monogamy partnership for these intense times. It is a dynamic “out of the box” relationship to meet the needs without government interference. We have been married for twenty-six years, but now feel that our karmic circle together is complete and it’s time to close the term marriage and let go. However, we both live with autoimmune diseases, due to a sequence of unfortunate events, and have agreed to stay together and support each other as friends. Rick wants to support me because he deeply cares for my well-being. However, he is no longer interested in an intimate relationship. He is aware and has made the choice to not to go deeper into himself on this level. Therefore, we have become energetically miss-matched.
Burning our old marriage contract shifted the energy and opened the door to unity, community, and self-love. We no longer feel we are in a marriage contract with each other. We don’t need a middle man to file divorce papers. We’re creating something new to up-level our consciousness by different experiences to wake up our subconscious minds. Standing alone for the first time in years gave us a view we had never felt before. We were so neurotically enmeshed with each other that we knew on the highest level that it was time to untangle the strands of co-dependency. Not really understanding where our lives would go, we recognized that we would find what we needed to grow deeper into our True-Self.
When I least expected it, Jason entered my life as a new character in the cast I call my life. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before; it felt as if the doors of enchantment opened and pulled me into the passage of self-discovery so that I can find those stubborn streaks and one day reflect to the world the organic power of my True-Self. It only made sense that we become one family, supporting each other in whatever way we could. Rick totally and willingly surrendered our relationship to Jason, somehow knowing that the relationship would explode in the shadows of dominance, control, and oppression. He provided me with another new and different opportunity to grow and learn.
Jason and I both had work to do to clear our negative attachments. Equality, trust, and equanimity are the truest forms of our organic nature; this means loving oneself so deeply that nothing on the outside has the ability to cause pain and distress. Doing so will create an encapsulated field with the inner masculine holding the inner feminine, and allowing her safety. Meanwhile her emptiness has the ability to be completely whole even among the wild fires inside. This takes deep self-love, melting blocked emotions to become the alchemist, turning her into energetic golden waves of ecstasy.
Jason and I agreed that our unconscious and conditioned mind, were causing problems. We wanted to work on the constant interference, programs and monkey mind. Just when we found ourselves, the doors opened to our past lives. This only fed the sea of flames fueling our emotions, which is perfectly designed to clear our energetic field on our journey to wholeness.
All three of us know that this is the key to freedom. This dynamic will bring entrapped inner child wounds to the surface; most don’t see this until there is a place of structured safety. We found it takes a family to raise the inner wounded child into maturity and while all three of us explored into our own Hero’s Journey.
Of course, this dynamic brought emotional wounds to the surface. Jason felt like the third party on many levels, as his inner child felt excluded. Until he loves and honor himself, his fear will continue to cause separation within the relationship with himself and with me. Jason chooses to be in for a while, yet I am not the priority in his life. He finds ways to deeply open my heart, makes promises to change, and give me hope. Yet, somehow things would change. Jason would leave me for a job, family, or the most painful of all – connecting with other women friends on an intimate energetic/emotional level. Naturally, I feel rejected, abandoned, and scared as the fears well up inside. All I want is to be chosen by the man I love, however, it’s too unsafe to commit fully and be by his side without Rick. Meanwhile, Rick held space for us to see how wounded our inner child’s minds, were. Coming from similar backgrounds, we both had been scarred from abuse. We experienced similar upbringings and were also caught in the cross fire of our fathers’ womanizing and our grandfathers’ pedophilia.
What does one do? Pull out the tools from the physiology of the patriarchy paradigm and call it red flags and put up boundaries? Take anti-depressants? Do we fall in the victim game and blame? Do we call it quits because we aren’t getting our emotional needs met?
Or do we stand in the fire and see our love for each other? Taking responsibility and accountability for our own emotional unavailability? Are we willing to see our projections of fear? We soon recognized that we had been punishing one another because their scars run deep. Blinded by confusion with our judgmental swords and found it too painful to be at war. We both, shut down our hearts to our own Hero Within. It is impossible to save another, without first saving ourselves. As we grew spiritually and emotionally we realized that the only way out is within, by being our own Hero. This is the true Hero’s journey.
How does one become ‘their own’ Hero? One must acknowledge where they are falling for the illusion that the hero is outside of themselves. It is easier to look on the outside – yet it is hugely rewarding to look within.
Each partner must do their part to embody the field of ecstasy. It is easily tainted with strands of toxic emotions. One cannot do the work for the other. If you’re ready to step up to this courageous inner awareness – be ready for a challenge, an adventure, and ride the tidal waves of intimacy. It will give you the intelligence and passion to remove the deep emotions that are blocking your heart.
By asking questions we open the energetic field for healing. Where do you avoid being the parent to your inner child? Is it work, an addiction, the next relationship, hobbies, family or friends? Notice if the fallen hero has an emotional wars inside. Is it numbness? So you don’t have to feel the energetic weapons stemming from your own mind? This will only result in creating layers of more armor around the heart, allowing outside forces to play the game of fanatical attachments. Not choosing yourself is playing the game; it poisons the mind allowing in external inorganic pollutants that destroy relationships by sabotaging the Hero within. By being the victim to your own fanatical grandiose hero projecting out with emotional needs.
Would it not be better to stay in your own domain and be in mature observation? There one has the ability to sit in meditation and actualize their emotions by feeling the sensations that arise in the body. This will allow the Divine Presence of their Higher Self, their Spirit, to love and hold their inner child. Taking such loving action in it’s self, encourages the inner child to feel safe by feeling seen and included. It also alchemizes the fearful emotions, dissolving them into their True Source. This has the capability of melting the emotional prison walls, creating space in that moment; then the Hero’s Journey stops being a game, because we are choosing our own inner Light. We then shine with true Heart Essence – radiating at a frequency of Divine Ecstasy.
At this point, both Heroes are already whole in their entirety, with no attachments, only organic cosmic waves of purified delight. Their purified Hearts opens wide to their Loved One. The orgasmic electrical field transmitting through the meridians in the body is causes a planetary resurrection, awakening the world to a new profound journey. Choose the Inner Hero’s journey … the time is now to be Free!
With Deep, Profound and Organic Love,
Energetic Multidimensional Cellular Stabilizer
Some excerpts are taken from my manuscript Embody Energetic Ecstasy in the works.
P.S. Here is the link to the youtube video discussing this blog in deeper detail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BSzRiimtbc&t=126s